Saturday, February 6, 2010

Goofus and Gallant

Disclaimer: I ADORE my roommate!  She's beautiful and smart and really good with people and definitely way more womanly than me in all kinds of ways.  However....
Do you remember Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine?  Goofus is the lovable slacker who's always messing up and Gallant is the total brown noser who pretty much just existed to make all the rest of us feel like failures.  Here are a few examples of their respective behaviors:
1944: "Goofus opens a package that is meant for Grandma; Gallant carries Mother's package, unopened, to her."
1955: "Goofus doesn't remove his cap at a playmate's home; Gallant removes his hat."
1960: "Goofus turns on the television when there are guests; whenever guests arrive, Gallant turns off the television at once."
1979: " 'I'll copy this poem and send it in,' says Goofus; Gallant writes his own story."
I think most people like Goofus much more than the up-tight Gallant.  If you 're one of those people, prepare your nerves to be grated upon because in this post, I get to be Gallant!

When I started a load of laundry today, I noticed there was a bunch of dried, crusted detergent on the agitator.  I pointed it out to my roommate, who had no idea that you're supposed to put powdered detergent in the bottom of the washer, and showed her the proper way to do it.  Then, I opened the silverware drawer - which is less than 4 feet from our junk drawer - where I discovered a carabiner.  "What's this?" I asked.
"I wanted to keep it," she replied.
"In the silverware drawer?  It probably isn't very clean."  I'm not really a germ-o-phobe, but eating off a utensil that has been sitting next to a key chain doesn't sound very hygienic.
"Ok, you can toss it. I don't really need it." 
She's pretty easy to live with, but really?  The silverware drawer? 

Roomy is pretty good natured about my (not so) gentle womanly lessons.  In fact, one of her goals while living with me is to grow into more of a woman, especially in the kitchen.  It's a good goal for her.  When I was out of town at Christmas, she tried to mix cookie dough with my immersion blender and ended up with egg and butter in her hair.  Last week, she used a steak knife sitting by the sink to make a PB&J sandwich.  It was the same knife that I'd just used to make guacamole, so her PB&J had the added flavor of onion.  These are not isolated incidents.  In fact, odd things frequently happen when Roomy spends time in the kitchen.
Goofus (Roomy) melts spatulas when making scrambled eggs; Gallant (me) always uses heat-safe utensils.
Goofus breaks wooden spoon handles; Gallant holds the spoon close to the top for proper leverage.
Goofus makes PBJ & onion sandwiches; Gallant always uses a clean knife.
Goofus puts groceries away wherever they happen to fit; Gallant organizes the fridge and cupboards as she unloads grocery bags.
Goofus has a messy room; Gallant...hang on a minute....that's definitely my room...
Oh well, we can't all be as perfect as Gallant.  That's why I'm a woman in training!


  1. Somehow I skipped over this one. Just read it now. I'm laughing so hard. Oh the things I learn from you Nicole. It amazes me:)
    I actually totally forgot about the onion PB&J until I read about it. That was kinda gross. And now you can add the uncrushed garlic clove in the soup to your list....
    Love you!

  2. YES! Goofus puts whole garlic cloves into the pot, skin and all; Gallant always minces garlic finely.


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